Monday, November 26, 2012

Deep Calls to Deep Devotion 4 "God Speaking"

"A cheerful  heart is good medicine."
Proverbs 17:22a  

Sometimes the Lord sets us free; He miraculously heals us.  Other times, we walk it out.  I'm walking my fears out.

I am having an invasive heart study and ablation tomorrow.  While this is not fearful for others, one who struggles with fear of untimely death such as myself, has a huge problem facing this.  But...God.

God is meeting me.  He is speaking.  He is overwhelming me with His presence.  I welcome Him and He floods in.  He understands my fears and He's not mad at me, but, He's having me face them full on.

Last night, the email devotion I receive from Wondherful, was titled, "Your heart is beating, but is it laughing?"  My heart is not laughing because it is bound in fear, but it will laugh.  God was meeting me through the devotion.  He hears.  He says, "Your heart will laugh, my daughter."  

Today, my daily Scripture from Light For the Day was, "A cheerful heart is good medicine," Proverbs 17:22a.  God is speaking.  He is saying, "Here I am; my medicine is good."

A few weeks ago when I sat down to speak with my electrophysiologist about the test and surgery, I turned my head to the left.  Tucked away in the back room of his office, among copiers and filing cabinets was a wooden sign that simply said, "Jesus."  He is with me.

We can choose to look for God in all circumstances; to have eyes of faith or we can cling to doubt and fear. We can call things coincidences or we can recognize it as, "God winking."  This is Him. This is my creator.  Loving me, calling out to me, saying, "I am with you."

Today, I'm reminded of the Mandisa song, "God Speaking."

Have you ever heard a love song, that set your spirit free?
Have you ever watched a sunrise and felt you could not breathe?
What if it's Him?
What if it's God speaking?

Have you ever cried a tear that you could not explain?
Have you ever met a stranger who already knew your name?
What if it's Him?
What if it's God speaking?

Who knows how He’ll get ahold of us?
Get our attention to prove He is enough.
He’ll do, and He’ll use whatever He wants to.
To tell us, I Love You.

Dear friend, He is with you.  He hears you.  He hears you when you don't understand.  He hears you when you are at the end of your rope, when you're exhausted, when you have no one to turn to.  He is not far.  He is near.  He is near to me and He is near to you, in the greatest of tragedy and in the minute seconds of the day.

Hear Him calling.  Here Him speaking.  Open the door.

Power Verses
"Look, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." Revelation 3:20

"But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your deliverance." Psalm 13:5

"Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh." Luke 6:21b

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Deep Calls to Deep-Devotion 3 "He's Near"

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
James 4:8a

How many times have you said, "I don't feel God near."

He is near.

He never leaves us.  He never forsakes us.

He is omnipresent.  He's everywhere.

Next time you don't feel God, remember this verse: "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you."

Begin to worship.  Say His sweet name.  Close your eyes and say, "Be near."

He loves each whisper from your mouth.  He loves to hear your voice.

He dances over you when you are unaware.

Our feelings do not change the facts.

If life were a train, feelings would be the caboose.

Power Verses
"Let us approach God's throne of Grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16

"Yahweh your God is among you, a warrior who saves.  He will rejoice over you with gladness.  He will bring you quietness with His love.  He will delight in you with shouts of joy."  Zephaniah 3:17

Autobiography-The beginning of the Arkansas Years

When we arrived in the small town of Atkins, Arkansas, we rented a one bedroom trailer with rose bud curtains.  We all slept together in the only bed that took up the entire bedroom.  There were many days that my mom hosed my brother and me off in the yard during the hot summer months.  Momma, as she began to be called, started working at Apple Dumpling Daycare and my brother and I were able to attend.  I started kindergarten.  My Uncle Gonzo drove the school van from Apple Dumpling Daycare to Atkins Elementary.   We continued to go to a conservative Baptist church.  Momma didn’t let us trick or treat and we were only allowed to be clowns or hoboes on Halloween.  We went to the church for a fall harvest party and had so much fun! They even had a haystack that you could search for prizes in.  On the way home, I begged my mom to let me go trick or treating at one house.  Of course, I picked the scariest house on the block!  A man jumped out of the ditch at me as I cuddled my mom’s waist.  My mom explained to the homeowners that it was my first time trick or treating.  I reluctantly took the candy and walked back with Momma to our trailer.

We were able to move into a new home quickly.  We called it our old mansion because it had five bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a den, such a big difference from our little trailer!  We had a pecan tree in our yard.  Momma used to make homemade pecan pies with nuts that Jason and I collected from the yard.  Our neighbor had a house that was filled with a doll display.  I used to go over and pretend that they were my dolls.  I looked at them, star-gazed, and hoped she would give me just one, but she never did.  I loved Christmas time in that old house.  Momma got me my own mini-Christmas tree to decorate all by myself in the den!  We threaded popcorn and cranberries for our large living room tree.  My favorite memory is waking up to her watching the 700 Club in the living room. 

Pecan Tree from

It was around this time that my mom started to date.  I don’t know much about the beginning of their relationship.  I recall her hugging a man at Apple Dumpling daycare after he dropped his son off.  The next memory I have is us all going to his house.  I didn’t understand why he was leaving his two year old alone in the car while we all went inside.  He said it was because he was sleeping.  I felt sad for the little boy.  Another time, he left the little boy in his highchair and wouldn’t take him out.  I didn’t understand why he seemed so unkind.  I always left relieved that my mom loved me and would never leave me locked in a car, or alone in a high chair while we all played in another room.

I’ll never forget the day that my mom asked my brother and me if we thought she should marry this man.  I said, “He’s mean,” and I felt sad thinking of having him in our lives. They were married shortly after that.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Autobiography and Devotion

Hello, friends!

I am currently working on another project, a yearly devotion based on all that God is teaching me.  I am still writing my autobiography every Sunday.  I have not been able to write the past couple of weeks because of business travels.  I WILL be writing this Sunday!

Please read my devotions, also.  They are entitled Deep Calls to Deep based on Psalm 42:7a that states, "Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls."  This was written by David in En Gedi, one of my favorite spots in Israel.  I've encountered divinity, pain and restoration all in the waterfalls of En Gedi.  Please come on my journey with me.  I'd be delighted to hear of yours.

En Gedi Waterfall November 2011


Deep Calls to Deep Devotion 2

So, do not fear,
for I am with you;
do not be afraid,
For I am your God.
I will strengthen you; 
I help you.
I will hold onto you
with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

The Lord gave me this verse in 1999 when I was stuck in a bad LSD trip.  It's hard to believe that was ever my reality.  I feared being a "vegetable" for the rest of my life.  The demonic hallucinations wouldn't stop.  I would awaken to banging doors ringing through my mind, gripped with fear.  I begged my mom to pray for me at 3 a.m.  She simply asked, "God, please help Dawn."

I turned on all the lights in our living room, laid on the couch, and turned on the T.V.  I had never watched Christian television before, but landed on Cornerstone T.V., the Pittsburgh area Christian station.  Calming scenes of fields, sheep and rivers showed one after another.  Then, Scriptures began to show.  Isaiah 41:10 was one of them.  "Do not fear...I will help you."  Peace enveloped me and I slept.

When we have these divine encounters, these spiritual awakenings, it seems that they are one time events.  There are many times since then that the Lord has brought this Scripture across my path, but it has never been as clear of a dividing line of light and darkness as it was in the fall of 1999; however, I've learned since 1999 that this Scripture is true everyday. 

Today, on this Thanksgiving, I am impacted by the portion, "I will strengthen you," written before, "I will help you."  Day to day, He first strengthens us as He helps us.  If He didn't give us strength day to day while He helps, we would lose courage and shrink back.  Today cling to His strength and know it is there because He IS helping you.

Power Verse
1 Corinthians 1:4
He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Deep Calls to Deep Devotion 1

Psalm 109:1-5

God of my praise, do not be silent.

For wicked and deceitful mouths open against me;
they speak against me with lying tongues.

They surround me with hateful words
and attack me without cause.

In return for my love they accuse me,
but I continue to pray.

They repay me evil for good,
and hatred for my love.

Have you ever experienced what the Psalmist experienced?  Wicked, deceitful lies spoken about you?  Hateful words surrounding you?  Have you been attacked without cause?  Have you spread love with a sincere heart only to be accused of being fake?  Have you been good to people and they've been evil back?  Have you done something special for someone, out of a pure heart of love, only to be hated?  I've been there.  It's so painful.  It makes me want to hide back in a shell, to cower.  Then I remember, "That's not who God created me to be."  That's not who God created YOU to be.

He created you to be "as bold as a lion."  He created you to receive massive love from Him that will enable you to pour it out.  He created you to stand for justice.  He created you to pray.

Prayer is the key to getting through lies spoken about you as you take your stand for truth.  When deceit is coming against you, half-truths, manipulation; pray.  When hateful words linger above your head, repeat in your mind over and over; pray.  When you are attacked verbally in hasty zealousness; pray.  When you are hated; pray.  

Prayer changes people's hearts.  It activates God to action.  It discharges angels.  Most importantly, it gives you divine interaction.  In prayer, you hear from God, giving you strength to be hated.  When you quiet yourself and listen, His presence comes in; His truth.  One Word from God, one gentle touch, and all else fades.  The voices, the noise, the lies, the chatter, all fade into the background.  It's just you and God.  Now, before you face the day, filled with accusations and hate, "continue to pray," and walk fully in His peace, as the lies bounce of your warrior chest.  

Power Verses

Proverbs 28:1
The righteous flee when no one is pursuing them, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.

2 Corinthians 10:5
...taking every thought captive to obey Christ.