Distractions, Facebook, and Confidence

There is so much to be DISTRACTED by these days. Have any of you seen pinterest!? That alone, coupled with pics of Jay Z and Beyonce's daughter are enough to send me into a mind-internet stupor for hours. Then, when I'm bored with that I can lazily make my way to Facebook where I can spend hours of my time filling my mind with other people's emotions and thoughts. Most of the time, I'm reading information that I don't even care about. I'm feeling my heart with other's criticism, negativity, worries, and allowing those who have no sphere of influence in my life, to have GREAT influence!

My old FACEBOOK page boasted 1200 "friends." The new one I've created in my past year and a half of marriage only has my inner circle of 500. My current Facebook problem is, there are many critical people. I see people passively attacking people through statuses, taking anger out on their husbands through statuses, being bold about issues that face-to-face they clam up about. None of this interests me and yet I welcome it into my life on a daily basis. Why? Once I "accept" a "friend," there's no turning back. Someone that seems bubbly and nice is really miserable via status. Someone that is a shy intellectual displays passive aggressiveness through statuses. And I'm stuck. I can't remove them. I like them in real life. The best I can do is block their statuses from my newsfeed. Then, there comes days like today. Cold, snowy, dark, bored days. And I start creeping on all my blocked people, see their bitterness and fill my mind with it all over again! Why do I draw myself to those that I long to be NOTHING like? Whose opinions steal my peace and fill my heart with anxiousness? Whose statuses make me wish Facebook didn't exist so I never learned their inner thoughts and only knew their facade of reality when we bumped shoulders?

CONFIDENCE. I'm on Facebook for love, freedom, and social networking. I'm not on there to talk smack on my family, to judge my church family, nor to be distracted by people whom I long to be nothing like. I'm on there to encourage acquaintances to not give up, to send love letters to my husband just because, to watch my stepchildren enjoy high school, and to keep up on birthdays of those I love. I am confident that I live the Call on my life to the best of my ability, not for the naysayers, but for those who are truth seekers. Today is a definitive day. A day where I say, "no more!" No more reading criticism, no more allowing distractions to overtake me, no more feeding my mind with critical judgement.

"Haters talk behind my back...and that's where they'll stay."

Knit Together In My Mother's Womb

What a joyous occasion! The Lord has blessed my womb. He is creating a daughter or son of His right now. He started five weeks ago. It will take 40 weeks to complete His masterpiece. He is joyful, whistling, singing as He creates. He is thinking of plans for this child. His heart is filled with a Daddy's warmth.

He is fearfully and wonderfully knitting a creation within me. My body is changing in response. Something the size of a sesame seed is bringing such Joy, contentment, and reaching a deep desire to know Him better. My baby is deep crying to deep.

My dear friend, Liza, said, "Pregnancy is a holy time." May I learn of Your heart, Father through this time and may my baby be full of Shalom.

Faith like a Cardinal

Before the Winter of 2011, the Cardinal was just another bird to me, until I read a friend's facebook status in which she wrote of hope to see a Cardinal. It was during one of the most trying times of her life. When I asked of her request, she shared that Cardinals are her way of knowing that her Dad who passed is watching her. Sure enough shortly after her request, she saw a Cardinal and was comforted. I thought of my heavenly Dad who is hanging out with her earthly Dad as we spoke. I can imagine her earthly Dad asking for the Lord to encourage this North American songbird to cross this young woman's path. It was a beautiful story of a God who hears the cries of our hearts and a young woman who is on the Lord's heart and her Father's.

A few weeks after this encounter, I went for a jog and cried out to the Lord. We were finally having a break in our long Pennsylvania winter and I was eager to get outside. In addition, the trials I had been facing were smacking me hard in the face. I cried out and cried out in the newness of Spring. I reminded myself that He is a God who hears. The funny thing is, as I jogged and prayed, I saw a Cardinal. My thoughts went to my friend and then straight to the heart of God. This Cardinal was a gentle reminder that He was hearing my prayer.

As the Winter and trials continued to stretch through March, then April, then May, the Cardinals continued to show up in my life. As I sat at my desk one afternoon, with a large window behind me, the weight of burdens weighed heavily on my heart. Tears were streaming down my face as a woman came to my desk with a request. I quickly wiped away my tears as she began her appeal. In the middle of her sentence, she stopped, looked up and said, "oh, wow, look at that Cardinal!" I turned to see the red brilliance glide past my window, settling on a tree a short distance away. I sensed the peace of God.

Not long after that, the Spring started poking her head out more, and eventually, kicked off her shoes to stay a little while. One of my favorite things about my husband is his love for birds. As soon as he could, he bought bird seed for our window sill. Quickly, we had a Male Cardinal visiting our sill everyday. It wasn't long until I heard a new song on my window sill. The Female Cardinal was also coming for food. Wow, God, you brought a husband and wife Cardinal team to my marriage room.

I have always been fascinated by the revealing of God through nature. Even in Winter, there is always hope of Spring. When something is dead, God can make it come to life. We can always look ahead with hope and anticipation when we trust God's heart.

One blogger wrote: "As we observe the cardinal – particularly against the backdrop of the stark winter months, we are reminded that even when things appear bleak or isolated, there is always the presence of beauty, hope, and love."

It has been said that the bright red Cardinal reminds us of Yeshua, whose blood covers all our sin; the sin that is so scarlet against the whiteness of the Lord, just as the Cardinal is so Scarlet against the bleak, whiteness of Winter. The Cardinal is also a symbol of "faith." This bird appears to remind us to "keep the faith," when things seem hopeless.

God has PURPOSE in ALL His Creation. When I see the Cardinal, although such a small piece of this world, I am reminded to Never Give Up! I know that someday my Spiritual Winter will cease, just as the physical has. I can hear my Savior calling through the Words of King Solomon: "My love calls to me: Arise, my darling. Come away, my beautiful one. For now the winter is past; the rain has ended and gone away. The blossoms appear in the countryside.The time of singing has come, and the turtledove's cooing is heard in our land."

"In the middle of Winter I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer."

Albert Camus

Friendship

My Grandma taught me a saying when I was in the fourth grade, "There is a red ship and a blue ship, but there's no ship, like friendship."

The Ancient King Solomon taught me a saying when I was in my twenties, "A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother."

What has my mind on friendship tonight? Gratitude.

P.S. Friendship is like a bra. It lifts you up and supports you.

Hated it

I have an amazing friend in Albany, NY who is a writer. She writes book reviews. I was so excited to embark on reading, Love Wins, since I was writing my first one. I started to read. First, I went into the book knowing that all Rob Bell books have bored me. I love his Nooma videos, but can't get through his books. It's like struggling to eat a can of peas, knowing I hate peas. Yet, I eat them one at a time, at a time, at at time. I struggle to swallow. I'm then relieved it's over and then do it again. Yes, that is how reading Rob Bell's books are for me.

So, I'm not finishing Love Wins! There, I said it! My first attempt at a book review was a fail. Although I did tell my dear writer friend that my review simply is: hated it. She liked my simple review, so in some ways it was a win.

What disturbed me and caused me to want to write a review is that there seemed to be so much hatred for a person. The person of Rob Bell. Our brother. Our fellow pioneer of the faith. A lover of Jesus. An author. An American. A father. A son. A pastor. A Christian. A person who is misguided. We were talking about him being a heretic yet acting the opposite of 1 Corinthians 13. "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."

We were gongs.

We were cymbals.

Check out this blog by Perry Noble. This sums up my thoughts on Love Wins.

http://www.perrynoble.com/2011/04/20/my-thoughts-on-hell-rob-bell/

Rob Bell, Heretic or Pioneer?

I am not threatened that my God will be proved a liar. I am not threatened that someone else has truth that I do not have. I. am. not. threatened.

Maybe that is why I'm not in an uproar when people begin to question their faith. Jesus said, "Seek and you shall find." I'm not scared that Jesus will not meet someone full on when they are seeking Truth with all their heart.

Often we hide how we are really feeling, the questions that lurk in our heart, because we don't want to face the ugliness, the uncertainty head on. We defend what we are taught instead of seeking out to KNOW what we believe.

I am going to read Rob Bell's new book. I have read many commentaries already by people who have never read the book. ("Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." James 1:19) I have already heard people self proclaim that they are righteously angry as Jesus was when he turned over the money changing tables, again without having read the book.

So, today I ordered it from Amazon. When I am done reading, weighing, and possibly enjoying, I will post my convictions.

Yes, I am a God seeker.

Yes, I believe my sins are forgiven by Jesus.

No, I am not a universalist.

Yes, I know Scripture.

Yes, I am reading, Love Wins.

"It is the glory of God to conceal a matter and the glory of kings to investigate a matter." Proverbs 25:2