The materialism, the love for metal hoop earrings, the
declaration of name brands that I boldly boasted of when complimented on a
shirt, purse, or scarf began to sicken me.
I hated who I had become. I
bought into the lie that my identity would only be found in being “hot” from
head to toe. After nearing death
through addiction at such a young age, I realized NONE of it mattered. It didn’t matter if my toes were pedicured. It didn’t matter if my shoes matched my purse
or didn’t depending on the fad. It
didn’t matter how my hair was cut or even if I had six pack abs as long as I
was healthy! None of it mattered! And yet, I was stuck. I was stuck without an identity apart from
those stupid hoop earrings. I longed to
be free. I longed to know the simplicity
of Christ. How was I to change after
feeding my mind and heart with this lie for so many years? There were two simple answers in my 22 year
old mind: remove the toe nail polish and go to Africa.
The story of how God brought me to Africa not once, not
twice, but three times in a six year period can only be described by one
word: miracle. I don’t come from a wealthy family of
prominence. I have never played nor won
the lottery. At first, I didn’t have any
experience in financial management, my name was not and is still not followed
by the letters CPA, nor did I have a savings account or ROTH IRA. I didn’t know how to fundraise and there
wasn’t a rich uncle in the picture. My
job paid well for my age and especially without a degree, but by no means was
it enough to travel the world as often as I wanted!
In the winter of 2003, I sat in my church still consumed
with a longing to change and be changed in Africa. I longed for freedom from the American
Dream. Africa was tugging at my heart
and had been for over a year. Now was
the time.
I looked at a friend sitting
next to me and said, with visions of banana trees in my eyes, “I want to go to
Africa.”
Surprisingly, her response was an elated, “Me, too!”
“I want to work with Orphans.” I implored.
“I want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.” She responded.
“Let’s go work with orphans and climb Mt. Kilimanjaro!” I declared.
“OK!” She responded.
God took notice of this one quick conversation. He
teaches in His bible that His eyes roam to and fro the earth searching for a
heart that is seeking Him fully. My
friend and I were. That night as we
worshipped the Lord at our young adult’s church service, I knew in my Spirit
that the Lord was sending me to Africa and I’d be gone for nearly a month, returning
in time for school to begin again. It
was such a specific Word from the Lord that I shared it with a spiritual mentor
of mine. Her response: “If it is God, it
will happen.”
The next day at school, the pulling of Africa remained heavy
on my heart. I sprawled on the couch in
the lounge, looking at the ceiling with orphan children surrounding my
heart. Sighing, I said to anyone who
would listen, “I want to go to Africa.”
Immediately, a voice piped up, “You can go with me.”
No, it wasn't the voice of the Lord; it was a young woman who
was also studying Hi Tech Youth Ministry with me.
“Really?” I
questioned, almost blinking back shock that I had just heard the words.
“Yes, I’m going to Kenya for three weeks in July. We’ll be back in time for school to start
again.”
“How much does it cost?”
“$2800 and the deposit of $250 is due in two weeks.”
Since we were going on Christmas Break, I would be able to
work extra to have just enough for the deposit.
When I told my other African-dreaming friend about the trip, she was on
board, too.
Later that week, I walked through the halls of my church,
speaking with Pastor Rick. He was on fire
for God and the leader of the Spiritual AA I was in called “Set Free.” As I excitedly told him of all God was doing,
sending me to Africa, I explained the ways I planned to fundraise. He exhorted, “It sounds like you’re trying to
answer your prayers on your own. Just
let God do it.” He encouraged me with
Philippians 4:19, “My God shall supply all your needs according to His glorious
riches in Christ Jesus.” I began praying
harder and planning less. I hung the
verse on my computer at work to remind me of God’s promises. I wrote letters describing my mission, and
then left the results in God’s hands. Money
started coming in here and there from people hearing of the trip. The first major gift was from a friend whose
Uncle had passed away. She gave me
$700. Another young lady handed me a
card with $5 in it. I was grateful for
every gift. While my mom was having
friends and family over, an older, Jesus-loving Hippie couple gave me $25. It slowly, but surely came pouring in as I
asked the Lord to do what only He could do.
One particular gift that touched my heart was from a middle aged man in
our church. This was not a well-to-do man;
in fact, he worked with the elderly, barely making above minimum wage. He was not well-spoken; an awkward gentleman,
but with a heart of gold, the gleam of Jesus in his eye. He handed me an envelope with a $50 check in
it. There were people I had written,
making well over six figure salaries that didn’t even respond, yet this humble
man was giving out of such need. It
touches my heart every time I think of it and challenges me to give out of need
or abundance. After the first wave of
money came in, the blessings started to trickle, leaving me in a faith
crisis. I still needed $1350. I had sold about $200 in fundraising items
already, but felt convicted that I was to wait on the Lord. This was a major test of faith for me. I sought God’s face hard, fasted, prayed, and
waited.
In the meantime, I made a trip to the aviary with my
dad. It was so good to have a clean,
sober Dad. I enjoyed being in nature
with him, even if it was within a building.
As we walked through the Aviary, I admired the globes showing where each
bird came from. I slid my hand over the
gold and black globe and prayed, “Lord, I’d love a globe.” We continued our day, enjoying our
daddy/daughter time. Upon my return
home, I found a black garbage bag sitting on our dining room table. “That is so disgusting,” I thought, “who in
their right mind leaves trash on the table.”
Mom walked in at that moment and said, “Dawny, that’s for you. It’s from Philip,” the deacon at the Second
Baptist Church in Carnegie. I opened the
garbage bag to find a globe. I stood in
awe of God, and sensed the Holy Spirit, “The same God that heard your cry for a
globe will provide for you to go to Africa.”
At that moment Philip walked in with a huge smile, “Hi, Dawn! Do you like that globe? Someone was throwing it away and asked if I
knew anyone that would like it and I thought of you.” No one knew I prayed for a globe just hours
earlier. I shared with enthusiasm my
excitement of what the Lord had done and Philip handed me an envelope. On the outside was written, “My God shall
supply all your needs according to His Glorious abundance in Christ Jesus.” Inside was a fifty dollar check.
I continued to spend time in prayer while the deadline for
final payment loomed. To be honest, I
was scared. What if God doesn’t come
through? What if I should have been fundraising this entire time? While in
prayer, the Lord showed me a business owner that would be paying off my trip. Was I hearing right? Tony, the owner of Tennis Roofing was to pay
off my Africa trip? I prayed, “Lord, put
it on his heart to pay for this trip, if this is from you.” Over the next several weeks I continued to
pray for Tony. Early one Saturday morning,
I woke up to a prompting from the Holy Spirit, “Go to Set Free class. If not, you’ll miss your blessing.” Upon arriving to class, I was met by several
people I loved that had experienced freedom from addiction through Christ. I smiled, reached my hand across the table
and shook Tony’s hand. I silently prayed the entire class, well, I
screamed prayers to God, “Tell Him to give me the money! I needed it yesterday!”
At the end of the class, Tony asked, “Dawn, how much more
money do you need to go to Africa?”
“$1300,” I answered.
“See my wife tomorrow and she’ll give you a check.”
I was blown away, “Thank you!” I shouted.
“I kept sensing that I was to give you the money, but I
wanted to make sure it was God.”
I laughed saying, “I knew you were supposed to give me the
money, too and I kept asking God to tell you if you were supposed to!”
The next day, I met up with Rhonda who said, “How
much do you need, $1500?”
“No, $1300,” I replied, yet I took notice that the amount
she offered was the exact amount I would have needed had I not fundraised. Nothing is Impossible with God.
